So, I'm A Slacker - Like You're Shocked

I know, I know. Apparently, "deciding what to do with my life" is a bit of an overwhelming conundrum that requires 100% of my attention to be focused on my personal shortcomings, not the least of which is my complete inability to make a concrete decision. Case in point; I couldn't even successfully cultivate this new hobby without taking a sabbatical before my entries even hit the double digits. Sad, really.

However, it would seem that now that my life is sorting itself out somewhat, I am no longer afraid to sneak back onto the blogosphere. I’m still not used to this medium, evidently - blogging as a form of journaling. On some level I felt beholden to chronicle every little triumph and failure of the job search and that sounded like an exercise in self-torment so I opted against it.

And of course, I am still somewhat insecure about the potentially life-altering decisions I've made in the last few weeks, but I promise to invite feedback soon.

So, until the time to do so arrives, let's get down to some seriously important fluff:

#1 Saw a funny movie: Death At A Funeral. You will actually find it in the comedy section. Great British humor. Wry and over-the-top at the same time. Odd, but very entertaining.

#2 Saw a movie that I HATED: Into The Wild. Okay, HATE may be a strong word. The acting was actually very fine. And I should have known that I would detest this movie because I began the book ages ago and decided to back out of that 200-page commitment because the book was anxiety producing for me. Why I thought a moving picture OF THE BOOK would not have this affect, I cannot really say. Momentary lapse of sanity, I suppose. But seriously, am I the only person who cannot stand movies that are full of that kind of psychological torment? I'm crazy enough on my own, thank you VERY much! I do not need to spend my leisure time pondering someone else's all consuming, trauma-induced psychosis. That's what shrinks are for. Although, I will give John Krakauer points for Under The Banner of Heaven. That is an excellent book. I think the level of crazy in that book is so extreme that it’s easier to remove oneself from it, you know?

#3 Got back into singing, a favorite past time of mine that I have seriously neglected for...oh, roughly ten years. I am singing two duets and one quartet with Ben's aunt and her trio at an upcoming party. It is so exhilarating to be doing something again that you were once so good at. I was worried I wouldn't be able to get my old vocal strength back but it's coming, slowly but surely. So, I want to recommend this rekindling of old pastimes to all. BH - you should pick up a paintbrush to give your brain a respite. And If I'm not ever going to see my take from the green-period, I'll settle for your first post-masters-period piece instead.

Job-Ology

My mother has a wonderful friend who recently retired from a very big-wiggy human resources job after 30 or so years of steadfast devotion. My mother, being an uber-networker, was insistent that I get together with said friend before delving too far into my job hunt so she could help me refine, and snazz-i-fy my resume.

So, yesterday we had a hot date.

And of course, when I say "hot date", I mean two plus hours of me trying desparatly to articulate what it is I'm looking for in a job, a new location, the next five-ten years of my life etc. No biggie. My advisor was very patient with me and insisted that she's counseled people who are much more lost and confuzilated than myself. But I, for some reason, found this difficult to believe.

I was asked: Am I job-driven or geography-driven? I'm I the driving-spouse or the trailing-spouse?

Well, I had thought I was georgraphy driven until I stumbled across a post on idealist.org that screamed to me "I AM YOUR DREAM JOB, DUMMY". So, perhaps I am job-driven and just in denial. But who wants to live in Maryland? I mean, seriously. What do The Humane Society of The Unites States, The World Wildlife Fund, The National Wildlife Federation, and Defenders of Wildlife have against the idea of a west coast branch? Legislative hub, shmegislative hub.

And why, I ask you - why, is it so damn impossible for a person to enjoy life in a semi-rural environment and ALSO do something about which she is passionate? Why do the two have to be mutually exclusive? Am I the only anti-urbanite who is faced with this dilemna? Why do I have to CHOOSE between the comforts of home and the satisfaction of working for my favorite cause? Isn't this the freakin' high-tech age? What do you people have against telecommuting? You can't hug trees and save whales online? WTF?

So, apparently I am job-driven; I'm just closeted because I love mountains, bodies of water, peace and freakin' quiet, and I detest traffic, the smell of urine on pavement, excessive noise, and crowds. Sue me.

Rent Or Birth Control...Tough Call

So, today the topic of my bitch fest will be the fact that my Blue Cross PPO bill has just, I can only presume, set a new record at $764.83 / month. Pennies, really.

Reason being that I recently resigned from my job and I FINALLY (after haggling the county of Santa Cruz by phone about 10 times) received my continuation of coverage paperwork only to learn that I'll have to go work some serious corners downtown if I expect to renew my birth control prescription.

Okay, that's a mild exaggeration. But really, the only reason I'm able to afford this in addition to rent, my car payment (Love my car, Mushu the Mazda. Mazda 3 hatchback. Can't recommend it enough! But I have strayed), my phone bill, my comcast bill, my credit card bill, etc etc etc is because my PARENTS (mind you, I'm 27 years old, so this is not a proud moment) want to help make sure I stay covered in case of health setbacks since the only reason I'm on the UBER plan to begin with was so that I could enjoy the pleasure of having major surgery and 6 week medical leave. Don't get me started on that can of worms...

So, really, when I say "I'm able to afford this" what I mean is that my wealthy, "semi-retired" (check messages and mail some stuff between tennis games and windsurfing) parents are able to afford it. Shit creek and I would be close personal friends if they weren't here to bail me out. I'd get to enjoy my Mazda 3 and cable but I'd be pregnant and having a panic attack so it might not be that fun.

So, Michael Moore, wherever you are, do you need a new PA for your next movie? Maybe someone to do coffee runs for you? Go shopping for baseball caps? Anything? Cuz Lord knows the guilt will kill me if I allow my parents to help me with this bill more than once or twice.

Here's my favorite part: The poorboy sandwich plan is $476.52 / month with continued coverage. 476 dollars for the plan where I can, after my experiences with this company, only imagine that they tell you fixing your broken limb is an elective surgery. Did I mention I had to send them a check for ONE CENT once?!!

Okay, rant officially over. By the way, I hope none of you had the expectation of real content from my blog. Analysis of current events, literature reviews, music reviews....nope. Maybe I'll spring it on you at some point but for now I'm doing my best to keep your expectations realistically low. ;)

Unemployment = Gateway to the 21st Century

Well, it was only a matter of time before Popsicle learned how to use the internet, really. Now I'm going to have five zillion new pairs of socks and no where to go!

Seriously, though, what got me to enter the blogosphere? Pookiedictable, I'd say you're largely to blame. Once Popsicle saw themacinator.com and realized that she, too could have her face plastered all across the world wide interwebs ;) she became insistent. She has a lot to say, really - serious life questions to submit to the universe; like for example; "Why is it that I have very systematically instituted a strict schedule of prompt inhalation of Potato's food each and every time an ounce of kibble hits the bowl only to find that she still lives?! Curses!" And more importantly, "Why must I suffer from objectophillia? When will I learn to love?"

Okay, fine, the truth is that I'm sick and tired of hopelessly searching the internet waiting for a pop up window to inform me of my true life's passion.

"Congratulations! You have been randomly selected to fill our agency's

Coffeewhoreinteriordesignerdogtrainerdairyfarmerpopsicologistsheltermanager
probationofficer(apparently)writterofdumbpoemshateroflocalgovernment-
advocateofsausageshapeddogsaroundtheworldchairpersonofthedepartmentofapathy

opening"

I actually did a google search for Life Coaches today. I think I may allow Popsicle to fulfill her life-long dream of putting me out of my misery ;)

Eventually I may even make this blog look pretty with pictures and music links and stuff but considering that my laptop is filled with hate (it's being 'fixed' for the same glitch apple 'fixed' two months ago)...and considering that Ben's laptop is older than Moses and is probably going to explode any minute due to the broken fan...I think I'll return to that endeavor at a later date. As for the rest of the day, Jerky Breath has a previously arranged unmaking of the bed scheduled for 3:30. I have to go prep the bed.

Love to my peeps